What Does “Waiting” Really Look Like?

Christian dating…such a hot topic in the Christian world. There’s always going to be that single woman waiting for her Boaz or that single man waiting to find his Proverbs 31 woman. At some point during their single stage both sides go through the same thing…the waiting phase. During this phase many things can happen…some get weary and backslide, others fast and pray for their spouse, while others read books like “30 Day Prayer Challenge for Your Husband” or “What to Do While You Wait for Boaz”…honestly the list could go on. I’ve been there and done some of that and I’d like to tell you there is no one size fits all solution to using your faith to get a spouse. Everyone’s circumstance is different .

For Everyone it Looks Different

The truth is, everyone’s “waiting” period looks and feels different when it comes to dating. Don’t let people make you think or feel like there are all around standards on what being single looks like. God has a purpose for each and every one of us.  God tasks us with certain things based on where He wants us to be, what He wants us to learn, our purpose in life, etc. There may be some people who are single for 4 weeks, while others may be single for 4 years…some people are “daters” while others are not. Some people have a desire to date many people at once, while others have no desire to do that at all. Or some may use discernment and simply ask God who they should give a chance. There is nothing wrong with those preferences, but  people often try to make you feel bad if you choose to do something they don’t agree with. The bottom line is you have to seek God and let Him lead you in your situation. He might just tell you to do nothing and be still. Just don’t compare your situation to others. Remember everyone is different.

Prepare For What You Want

Often times we like to think we know everything and that we’re already prepared for what’s  to come. Regardless of how long or how short your single season is you should still prepare. The same way you prepare to go to the next level in school, work or your  personal life is the same way you should prepare when you are seeking or wanting marriage. Go to the Word and see what God says about marriage. See what He  says about the role you should play in a marriage. Read Bible stories on marriage. The principles in the Word of God still apply today. Therefore, any wisdom you need to prepare yourself for marriage is in that amazing book. (Yes, the Bible of course)

Oh yeah, one more thing. When you prepare  start acting the part too. If you want to be a wife or a husband start acting like one. Hold yourself accountable for your actions, change your thought process, and ask God what your purpose is.

Emotional Roller coaster

Okay so here is the real, people like to make you feel like you shouldn’t want to be married. God created marriage, God loves marriage, and God is the center of marriage. Why would He not want you to experience it? Some people act like wanting marriage is a bad thing and its not!  I repeat it’s not a bad thing!!! The real issue is idolizing marriage…

You shouldn’t put anything before God, PERIOD!  Your single season is a waiting game and can become an emotional roller coaster, if you let it. One day you want to be married and the next day you want to wait a little longer. A few months go by and you think God is going to send you someone, but nothing happens. It can be a lot emotionally, because man was not meant to be alone. We were meant for companionship. If you have a desire to be married and you are single for 5 years it may become a struggle for you to believe and your faith may start to weaken. All in all, everyone’s  waiting period looks different. Some date and some don’t. Some people get married in a short time frame and some don’t. Don’t  get pressured into getting married because once you take matters into your own hands you  begin to conform to what society says. God is timeless. Wait on Him to tell YOU  what YOU  need to do.